The Epic Love Story of Dianna and Lea
by KiwiKow
Summary: Achele. A series of semi-unrelated oneshots in which Dianna and Lea run around being goofballs and having an established relationship.
1. Not My Intention

**A/N: **This was inspired by a tumblr post by acheleismyobsession. It has a little Faberry and a lot of Achele. Written for "I Kissed a Girl" based on the title before the episode actually aired.

Thank you to my lovely beta thebattlingbard for making sure everything was in line with this.

**Disclaimer**: Please be aware of the fact that I know nothing about how television shows work with when actors get their scripts, table reads, shooting scenes, and all that. I _could_ do research, but that requires effort, so you're stuck with my horrible guessing/making things up. That said, enjoy!

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><p>Normally Lea was excited to have scenes with Dianna. Outside of work, they were always Leaanddianna or Diannaandlea (and what was it they were called online? Shell something? Lea wasn't sure; Dianna was much more into "trolling" than she ever was). One was never without the other.<p>

They normally didn't get scenes together, though, so when Lea discovered she'd actually have lines with Dianna, she was initially ecstatic – that is, until she actually bothered to read said lines. Her script slipped from her hand in shock. Surely, she had read something wrong. Perhaps there was a little smudge on the "F" in Finn that made it look like a "Qu?" But a quick glance back at the packet of paper said otherwise.

The table read confirmed all of this, and she couldn't help thinking throughout the session that maybe she and Dianna should try a little more subtlety because there was simply no way that Ryan had thought of this on his own. Then Dianna had shifted her hand under the table and Lea forgot to think about things at all.

Finally, it was the moment of truth – shooting day. Lea was more than a little antsy, and she couldn't quite place why other than the fact that she wasn't used to her personal life and work running so close together. She also wasn't quite sure how her costars would react, since Ryan (just her luck that he had written _and_ would direct the episode) had insisted that Rachel's huge plot twist be kept a surprise, "so the expressions of shock would be real." Something far off in Lea's mind grumbled that they were all actors and perfectly capable of doing their jobs and _acting_ shocked instead of everything needing to be real, but it wasn't her call.

When the cameras started to roll, though, Lea put everything out of her mind. She could always relax her nerves by singing, and that's exactly what she did. Granted, it wasn't the most emotional song, but it would suffice.

Never once did she forget to do her job and act as Rachel Berry throughout this. She glanced apologetically at Cory (well, Finn) when the lyrics called for "hope my boyfriend don't mind it." When the chorus shifted into the second verse and Naya led all the girls down from the risers, she pretended to be surprised that people would actually want to dance with her, Rachel Berry, of all people.

And then the song was ending. As the last chords floated through the air, Lea steeled herself before leaning over to Dianna and giving her a very chaste kiss on the lips.

A few people gasped in shock, and Kevin even wolf-whistled, but Lea was looking only at Dianna. She had a funny expression on her face that Lea was trying to read until Ryan's angry screech of, "Cut, cut, _cut_!" broke through the commotion.

The two women broke apart, if you could call stepping slightly further away from each other while maintaining an enormous amount of body contact "breaking apart." Lea turned to the director. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Ryan fumed slightly. "What's wrong? That kiss had no chemistry! I thought you two were close friends." Lea snorted – that was certainly _one_ word for it. It was the nature of their relationship that had actually held her back. She had been sure that a full-out make-out would have been too much for Mr. Murphy, but if that was what he wanted, she wasn't going to complain.

The man in the yellow hat (sans inquisitive ape) continued on. "If you could just take what you're doing now and transfer it to the kiss, we'll get the perfect shot and be out of here in no time."

It was in that moment that Lea recognized what she had seen on Dianna's face, for she was sure she was sporting a matching glimmer in her eye at that moment. "I completely understand," she said, nodding her head.

Everyone went back to their places and the scene began to play out again. This time around, Lea barely let the song end before launching herself at Dianna. She wrapped her arms around the taller woman's neck and attached their lips. Dianna moaned in approval and moved her hands to grasp Lea's ass while Lea took advantage of Dianna's newly opened mouth to bring tongues into the picture. There was more whistling and one of the boys shouted "Get soooooome!" before Ryan's angry snap of "_Cut_!" broke them apart.

"That was a little bit too much. Do you think you can back it off at all?" Ryan flashed them what was surely supposed to be a winning smile but looked more like someone had just wafted Bigfoot's socks under his nose.

Lea rolled her eyes dramatically before turning to smile at Dianna, who smiled back, making Lea smile some more. They took their places again and Lea took on the role of Little Miss Innocent Rachel Berry up until the kiss came up again. This time she decided to place a hand on one of Dianna's cheeks and kiss her sweetly. It was all going very well until the taller woman broke away with a sudden pop.

"I messed up my line," she declared over Lea's groan of disappointment. "We need to do it again."

"But Dianna, you don't even have a line there—"

Poor Ryan's protest fell on deaf ears – the girls were already climbing back to their chairs to reshoot the scene. He inwardly groaned. If he didn't know better, he'd almost think that his two leads were doing this on purpose.

There were many, many, _many_ more takes. They seemed to be almost flawless, but someone always managed to find something wrong with it and they started over from the beginning again. The two stars of the scene were taking great glee (no pun intended) in seeing what they could get away with. Sometimes they just kissed. Sometimes Lea would run her hand down Dianna's front in a way that made it all too clear that this wasn't something she had just figured out how to do that day. Once Dianna even managed to slip her hand under Lea's skirt, and they weren't sure if no one noticed or were just too polite to mention anything.

Dianna was just biting Lea's lower lip when a somewhat hysterical Ryan called out, "Good! Excellent! That's a wrap!"

"No, it's not," Naya argued. "I think I tripped when I was going down—"

"You did no such thing!" the director interrupted. "I have here on film. See? _See_?" No one could see the camera, aside from him and the cameraman, but he continued. "We have taken…" he looked down at the plethora of tallies, "seventy-four takes. Seventy-four! We sure as hell have something that we can use. If we don't, we can just have those internet people do it for us." Internet…people? Clearly, their director had gone crazy. He fisted his yellow hat. "Go. Just….everyone go."

With that, he stalked out of the room. He needed to calm down, maybe write a new character…yes, that would help. The thought of creating more storylines and hiring yet another new person was already making him feel better.

Slowly, everyone else trickled out of the room until finally, the only two people left were the finicky stars. The atmosphere had changed dramatically. Before the two had been full of faux-serious demands and had been prone to fits of giggles, but now all Lea could do was admire exactly how hazel her best friend's eyes really were.

Dianna stared back breathlessly down at the woman in front of her. "D'you…" she brought her gaze up to Lea's and momentarily lost her train of thought before trying again. "Do you want to go back to my trailer and run lines?"

Lea simply grinned back at her lady. "I'd love to go your trailer, but I have a much better idea of what we could do with that time."


	2. Seducing Miss Motta

**A/N:** Set during the filming of 3x20.

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><p>"Is it filming? I think it's filming?"<p>

Scattered giggles bubble softly before the sound of a chair scraping against cheap tile punctuates the air. A hush instantly falls over the room, and a woman begins to speak.

"If someone had told her last week that she would wake up one morning and find herself inexplicably attracted to Tina Cohen-Chang, she wouldn't have believed them."

The camera shakily cuts from black to a girl sitting alone in a choir room. She is gazing off into the distance with a hand pressed to her cheek and a lazy smile on her face. "Gosh, Tina is so hot," she murmurs to herself. "I don't know how I didn't notice sooner." She pauses for a moment, before adding, "Not Asperger's."

Suddenly, the door to the choir room flies open and a second woman comes stalking in. She flips her dark, blue-tipped hair away from her face as she stops to face the first woman. "Sugar? What are you doing here in the middle of the day when everyone else is conveniently in class and therefore not in this particular choir room?"

Sugar stares back. "I could ask you the same question, Tina."

"I have a free period for fifth. I normally come here to practice my singing."

"Wrong character," Sugar hisses.

"I mean, practice my um…not…talking."

Sugar barely prevents the corners of her mouth from sneaking upwards. "I see." She gets up and slowly stalks towards the girl in the middle of the room. "Well, if you must know, Tina, I was thinking."

"Thinking? You can do that?" Tina says with faux amazement lacing her voice.

"Yes. Thinking." Sugar stops when she directly in front of Tina. She towers slightly above her and is definitely invading her personal space. "Thinking about you, which I can't seem to stop doing."

"I'm glad you say that," Tina replies silkily. She presses her body fully into Sugar's. "God, Sugar. The way you don't talk really turns me on. Normally I'm not talking either because I'm thinking of all the things I want to do to you."

"Right now, I'm thinking that I want to do you against this piano," Sugar says as she puts tilts Tina's face towards her own with her index finger. "Not Asperger's."

Tina's eyes flutter shut. She leans into Sugar, feeling a burning passion with the fiery strength of a thousand white-hot suns swarm around them. Their lips are about to meet but—

"What the flying fuck?"

The camera pans to a very angry, very homosexual, very yellow-hat-wearing man storming through the door. The brunette mumbles something that distinctly looks like "oh shit" while the darker-haired woman greets him with a too-sunny-to-be-real "hello, Ryan!"

Ryan Murphy is not impressed. "What are you doing in here? You're supposed to be on lunch break." He looks around before staring directly into the most important part of the room. "What are you doing with a camera?"

Since Lea doesn't have quite the ill history as Dianna does the Ryan, she decides to take the reins. "Filming," she replies smoothly. "You see, when one has a camera, one normally uses it to film things. I honestly can't think of another use for one, unless you were to use it as a paperweight of some sort, but that would just be ridiculous."

Ryan Murphy is still not impressed. "And what is _he_ doing here?"

"Can't have a camera without a cameraman!" Lea says jovially as Cory turns the camera back to his grinning face. "I just wanted to see them make out," he whispers conspiratorially before turning the camera back around to face the impending smack-down.

"Girls, girls, girls," Ryan sighs, pressing his hand against his eyes. "What have I told you about these little projects of yours?"

"No reenacting Faberry fanfiction with studio equipment," Lea and Dianna say in a practiced, simultaneous monotone. "But Ryan, this is completely different," Dianna quickly adds.

"This is not scripted filming, Dianna. This is not something that I approved of." Ryan Murphy pinches the bridge of his nose before looking back to glare, yet again, at his two actresses. "How in the world is this not reenacted fanfiction?"

"That contract we signed talks about Quinn and Rachel, but you never said anything about Sugar and Tina."

Ryan Murphy looks at them, complete disbelief written on his face. "You know what? Fine. FINE. You can get off free this time," he snarls, "but there are going to be no more loop-holes from here on out." Lea and Dianna look at each other glumly. "You can both expect a new contract in your trailers later tonight."

"You can probably save yourself a trip, actually. I'm going to be in Dianna's trailer making sweet, sweet—"

"_LA LA LA LA LA_," Ryan scream-sings in a manner that is disastrously off-key for someone that created a television show about music. He stuffs his fingers in his ears and speed-walks out of the room in a completely mature fashion. He manages to only trip over three chairs in his flight.

"—cookies," Lea finishes with a grin. "Wow, what kind of man doesn't like cookies? He's worse than I thought, and that's saying something."

Dianna cocks an eyebrow in her typical Dianna fashion. "You sure you can handle my cookies?"

"I've handled them before and I can handle them again." Lea is pressing into Dianna again, much like how she was before their interruption. Suddenly, she turns to face the camera. "Cory, please leave. Dianna and I are going to make sweet, sweet cookies sooner rather than later."

"Why do I have to leave? I like cookies."

The two stare at him.

"…oh. _Those_ kinds of cookies." He pauses, then adds, "I like those kinds of cookies, too."

"Leave, Cory."

"Fine, fine." The camera turns and bobs out of the room. Before it is lowered and completely shut off, Cory whines, "I can't believe they're making me read fanfiction like normal people."


End file.
